Guest article by Emmy Samtani, founder of parenting app, Kiindred
When you ask any new parent what their main challenges are, I can guarantee you that the most consistent theme will be around sleep. Sleep (or lack of) can have different effects on people. Some will get by on a few extra cups of coffee, while others will struggle and need to seek a little extra support.
I’m Emmy Samtani, mother of three little ones and founder of Kiindred. Over the last few years, I’ve learnt a thing or two about babies, thanks to the wonderful experts I get to work with and the community of new parents we connect with each day.
The fact that newborns don’t sleep is nothing new. Well actually – they do sleep – but it’s in much shorter cycles than when they are much bigger. Their tummies are teeny and they will digest their milk and be hungry again in no time – hence the feed/sleep rhythm will be in shorter cycles.
The good news is, babies will generally sleep well anywhere during those first weeks. You will be able to venture out and have your baby fall asleep in the pram or carrier with ease, unlike when they are older and become much more alert.
Your baby’s needs will change frequently in those first weeks and months and there are a few key things to consider that will help you through this time from making sure they have the right clothing and wraps to better understanding their routine. If you are armed with the right information and support, you will feel much more confident in navigating this special time with your little one.
1. Ensure they’re well-fed
Giving your baby full feeds will ensure that they aren’t waking up due to hunger. In saying this, it is to be expected that they will wake in shorter cycles as we mentioned previously. Providing there is nothing else happening with your little one’s health, by offering a ‘full feed’ you will be able to extend this period somewhere between two to four hourly feeds.
It is extremely easy to fall into 40-minute cycles if you are tired and fall asleep mid feed or the baby falls asleep on you.
Mothercraft Nurse, Chris Minogue says that to ensure your baby is well-fed, you will need to empty one breast completely before offering the second breast. In order to establish if you have emptied your breast completely, you will notice that it is soft. Whilst your baby might not take the second breast, it is a good idea to offer it to them and ensure your baby is satisfied. For more info breastfeeding your newborn bub, check out our blog on breastfeeding tips.
If your baby becomes sleepy mid-feed, chances are they’re going to wake up and be hungry again in a much shorter time frame. Whilst it’s tempting to fall back asleep quickly yourself, if you focus on giving your baby a ‘full feed’, then it will extend the time between this and the next feed. This can happen a lot overnight and Chris suggests stimulating the baby with a nappy change or lights/movement to keep them awake and finish the feed.
If you are formula feeding your little one, check in with the clinic nurse or your healthcare professional to seek support on what quantities are suitable for your baby based on their size and weight.
2. Consider their sleeping environment
At around the six-week mark, your baby will become more alert and with that comes a harder period for settling them for sleep. Environmental factors like light and noise will come into play and it becomes more important than previously to put them into their bed in a dark and quiet room for sleep. Whilst the six-week mark is still a little too early for true predictability or self-settling, you can start to create positive sleeping habits by making sure that you've considered their sleeping environment.
From six weeks you can also start to help your baby understand when it is time for their ‘nighttime’ sleep. Chris Minogue suggests following a rhythmic pattern called feed-bath-feed. This is where you feed your baby one breast or half a bottle – bathe them – and then finish the rest of the feed in a dark room to signify that it’s nighttime. This generally falls somewhere between 5:30-7:30pm.
Sure, they may wake again somewhere around 10pm and one to two times overnight but it is still early days and this night ritual will be something that you can consistently carry on for years to come. Those feeds we talk about will just change to dinner – bath – bottle and bed.
3. Understand their awake windows
4. Master the art of wrapping
Another very important factor in those early weeks is wrapping your baby. They have spent their time in utero nice and snug, only to be exposed to this wonderful new world. By wrapping your baby for sleep you will ensure that you can replicate this experience and ensure their arms stay nice and close to the body.
At Kiindred, we have been big fans of the Boody stretchy wrap since the beginning. Not only are they one of the (if not THE) softest wraps on the market, they are generous in size and offer the perfect stretch for containing little Houdinis.
A lot of new parents like to free their baby’s arms once they start fighting out of the wrap but it’s important to keep them wrapped until the 10-12 week mark. This will help with them sleeping for longer as they won’t wake themselves up as a result of the startle reflex.
The most important thing to note with wrapping is that if your baby starts to roll in their cot, it is time to transition them to a sleeping bag.
5. Know how to resettle them
There is quite a lot of discussion around crying-it-out methods and self-settling. The most important thing to note is that helping your baby to ‘self-settle’ or resettle doesn’t necessarily mean ‘crying it out’.
Your baby will go through different periods of alertness and will start waking up after a sleep cycle i.e 40 minutes. By understanding their suggested daily rhythm you will be able to identify catnaps as opposed to their longer morning and afternoon sleeps.
By doing this, you will see which sleeps are best for resettling and extending rather than fighting a losing battle when your baby isn’t going to go back to sleep. It will also help to promote a more predictable routine which babies thrive off. But remember – true predictability is not present until around the 12-week mark.
A lot of people talk about ‘sleep regressions‘ when in fact these are generally periods of new alertness where they may react easier to environmental factors such as light, being in a pram or transferring from the car.
As they reach this stage you will find it much harder to resettle them for sleep, so factor this into your day and find ways to take them out during catnaps versus asleep where you want them to sleep for much longer. The Daily Rhythms will also help you to space out feeding and sleeps so that you can be sure that they aren’t waking because they’re hungry.
Chris Minogue’s resettling technique
A simple yet effective technique for resettling is to pat and shoosh while they are in the cot. You can do this by gently rocking their body whilst patting their bottom and making a shooshing sound. Once they’ve settled you can walk out of the room and stay close by to give them a chance to drift back off to sleep.
If they become too unsettled, go straight back in and reassure them by following the same technique. If your baby becomes too distressed, you can pick them up for a cuddle before placing them back into their bed.
A note on sleeping aids
A dummy can also be an incredibly useful tool for resettling and the rules you put around this are generally up to each parent. You might choose to use this simply for sleep and keep it in the cot at all times. The dummy will then become a cue that it is time for sleep and once they wake up, you can simply keep it in the cot and explain to your baby that ‘dummy stays in the bed’.
Remember through all of this, that those days and nights might feel long but they sure pass by in the blink of an eye. I write this as my youngest of three is about to turn one and I have no idea where that year went. Enjoy your babies and know that you are doing your best at the most important job there is.
Check out Boody’s range of sustainable bamboo baby clothes and accessories perfect for play and sleep.
Emmy Samtani is a mother of three little ones and the founder of parenting platform Kiindred. Kiindred offers expert guidance, support and inspiration to millennial parents through a range of tech products, including their FREE ‘go-to’ app which delivers content based on your child’s age.
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Nadine Richardson, She Births® founder and doula, offers some hot holiday tips for pregnancy and parenting this festive season. Over to you, Nadine... The summer holidays are here, and this year you might have to do things a bit differently, especially if you’re living in Australia. Bushfires and higher temperatures mean that our time outside will most likely be limited. Time indoors combined with your in-laws and extended family, extra cooking and cleaning and the kids getting cabin fever could result in your holiday not being the downtime you planned on. So, here’s our top parenting and pregnancy tips for a healthy and happy holiday. We hope it helps to make your time together joyful. Pregnant over the holidays? There is one thing you really need if you are pregnant over the holidays: oxytocin, oxytocin, oxytocin. Oxytocin is the hormone for connection and the hormone of labour, so if it’s been a busy year, reconnect to your partner. 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One of the most common times people argue is when they are on holiday because as we relax stress releases from the nervous system, just the same principle in a very busy mind during meditation. Parenting over the holidays? The summer holiday period can come as a massive release for children. The built-up exhaustion from school and daycare or the daily routine (or lack thereof) with baby can wear us all down. And for adults, by the time we get the gifts bought and wrapped and the celebration meal cooked and the family over, it can feel like a marathon that we only just survived. So, when we finally sit down and shift into holiday mode, the lack of structure can be so freeing. There are more hands to tend to children and every day is filled with possibility for doing something or doing nothing. 5. Get lots of family time Family time has to be one of our number one top tips to parenting over the festive period. It seems obvious, but there is actually a lot going on when we spend time together, especially for children. Quality time is the first step to raising happy children – it bonds us together and gives children a sense of identity and belonging. The memories that we make are formative sacred moments, little pearls that string together and can be called on throughout life to reconnect, anchor and bring us joy. Family time can be spent in nature swimming or exploring rock platforms, playing games or watching cricket. It doesn’t matter too much what it is and if you think back to your childhood it’s usually the long lazy feel of holidays, the unremarkable moments and memories that are the ones we treasure. 6. Create your own traditions Many of us approach the holidays with traditions that stem from our own upbringing. Whether it’s the food we look forward to every year, the present opening or the influx of family in the house, it’s a time where it works best to meld the old with the new. 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May this pause be bonding and enriching, filled with experiences and moments of connection, rest and joy. --- Nadine Richardson, mother, yoga teacher, doula, Director of The Birthing Institute and Creator and Founder of the world’s only scientifically verified childbirth education program, She Births® and host of The She Births® Show (Podcast & YouTube). Nadine is an inspiration to all parents, female entrepreneurs and people passionate about making birth better. We are delighted to have her as an ambassador for Boody. Start your preparation for birth today by downloading the She Births® App, access lots of free resources and enjoy listening to The She Births® Show Podcast. We have a special gift for the Boody community – 10% off the Full Online Program with the code boody10. Follow She Births® on Instagram now!